Do Rewards Work?

I'm curious about your opinion on rewards for kids. There are some parenting experts who'll tell you not to use them at all because you want kids to receive "intrinsic" rewards for doing a good job rather than to have your praise/rewards as a motivator.

Professionally, I believe that rewards are a good option for parents who want to use positive discipline methods, but I recommend using them sparingly. In particular, I think they're helpful to turn the corner on behaviors that have been resistant to change.

Personally, let me share what happened with my kids. We were closing our cabin down for the winter and there was a very long list of things to do yesterday. I knew that my kids could be a great help with this, but it was an all-day project that would never sustain their attention for 10 hours. So, I had them "work" for short intervals and then let them play for awhile. I kept doing this throughout the day. But, I also said if they gave me great effort all day long that they could have a "treat" that they love at the end of the day.

Here's the good news. They were incredible! They were even asking me what else they could do to help! It saved me at least 1-2 hours of work.

Here's the bad news. I asked them to do one last thing AFTER they had received the treat and they both declined the offer... After 5-10 minutes, they had not put the item away. I gathered them together tellling them what an awesome job they did all day and also shared my observation that without the treat, they didn't do what I asked. We then had a talk about why we chip in as a family, take responsiblity for our own things, etc. and with heads hanging, they put the item away.

What's been your experience using rewards? Do you use them often? Do you think they're a good discipline tool?

Comments

[Oltea Vasilca]

We are strong believers in rewarding the child at our home. We did not give Joanne weekly allowance, as that was not a result of an accomplishment, and was not going to motivate her to do certain things.

Here is an example where rewards worked wonders for Joanne. She was in the junior year in high school and needed motivation to prepare for the impending SAT test. I said to her: Joanne, if your SAT score is 1399 or less, you get nothing, as I expect you to get that kind of result. However, if you score 1400, you get $1,000.00, and for each additional point you get $10.00. I wrote this commitment on a piece of paper and posted it on the mirror in Joanne's room.

So Joanne did prepare for the SAT, scored 1470 and received $1700.00 cash, in addition to the benefits of having achieved the max SAT score in Math (800).

[Toni Schutta]

Dear BKM: You are SO RIGHT! Positive rewards work so much better with children. Think of the contribution you're making to his self-esteem by the success that he's having. I appreciate that you've told him that not every behavior fits in the "reward" category. I do recommend that parents use reward systems sparingly, using them for behaviors that have been particularly resistant to change or when developing new habits. We want children to develop an "intrinsis" feeling of how good it feels to do a job well all on their own, but a child with ADHD, in particular will benefit greatly from tangible and concrete reward systems like you've established. And you're right that the tricky part is remembering our part of the bargain! For other parents who may want to try this, just keep the "sticker" part easy for yourself. You can use stickers, points, marbles in a jar, or whatever is easy. Keep up the good work! Toni

[BKM]

I have begun using a reward chart for my recently diagnosed ADHD grandchild (I have custody). There is a Reward Bag that he gets to choose one item when he receives 5 reward stickers on his chart. Rewards are earned by having a "good" morning - getting up, dressed, and ready to leave (without a hassle) when I am ready to leave; a "good" night - completing the bedtime routine and staying quietly in his room until he falls asleep; etc.
The Reward Bag contains items purchased specifically for the bag - small, low cost items. Items that have been taken away from him (throwing them, attempting to damage them, etc) are also in the reward bag and can be earned back. In addition to the Reward Bag he also has the opportunity to choose a special activity instead of choosing an item or he can save a few rewards and earn an even bigger reward. It has worked very well for him. The hardest part is for me to remember to document the behavior correctly. The amount of stickers needed to earn a reward will rise as he develops better habits. We have discussed how much he has matured and is gaining so much control of his inappropriate behavior. Plenty of hugs and positive reinforcement is given - not just the reward item. He may ask if a task is a "reward task". We would then discuss why it would or would not be a "reward task" - an expectation because he is a part of the household and has responsibilities or an extra task that is especially helpful and could earn a reward sticker. The reward system has worked wonders and works much better than the consequence method of altering bad behavior. A threat did not work well in affecting negative behavior (“No playground time today if you don’t get ready to go!”). A simple “Is today going to be a sticker morning?” works well to refocus his behavior!
BKM